Interracial and interethnic dating and marriage has never been more prolific than now. In fact, in 2010, there were reported 168,000 marriages of a black woman and a white man. But even in a society that is so accepting of dating outside one’s race, culture, or ethnicity, it can be difficult to experience. There is still evidence that family or close friends or even strangers might pass judgments or be unkind. Worse yet, sometimes these judgments or rejections come from the person you are attracted to. Perhaps that person is not interested in interracial dating or doesn’t approve of it at all.
Enter online dating! Online dating was created for and sustained by those singles who want something specific in a partner, so specific that searching through a sea of people in a big city or already knowing everyone in a small town won’t make finding the right person possible. Specific online dating sites exist for a multitude of different persuasions or interests. Star Trek fans, so called Trekkies, can find other Trekkies on a Star Trek supporter dating site. There are a number of other “niche” dating sites, such as for those who love the ocean, those who are farmers, or even dating by specific age ranges. So why not interracial or interethnic dating sites?
For black women wanting to meet white men, for example, depending on where she lives, her social circle, or even her level of comfort asking a guy out could seriously impede her finding the type of guy she is looking for. Or perhaps she is merely looking for love and is open to dating outside of her race or ethnicity in an attempt to broaden the dating pool. A dating website dedicated to finding an interracial love match then is key. On a general dating website (one not dedicated to specific interests), it may be infinitely more difficult to find someone meeting your exact criteria who also is interested in your race or culture. Mentioning your specific interest might yield better results, but it also might end up getting you hate mail.
Even on specific black girl white guy dating sites, be cautious to ask the question “Why are you on an interracial dating site?” soon into starting communications with another person. Simultaneously, be prepared to answer the same question. This is so you can both better identify if the interest is purely that- interest- or if it based on stereotypes, revenge, or rebellion. Be prepared for strange responses- how will you respond? What are you okay with? Some who venture onto an interracial dating website may subconsciously have expected stereotypes, such as Latin men are all great dancers or that Asian women are obedient. If you are not comfortable playing the role of a stereotype, be sure to ask questions early on to either disassociate with said person or to expand their understandings of individuals versus stereotypes.
Along with this comes the warning to keep discussion of your ex’s race to only pertinent discussions. Merely listing the number and types of other races or ethnicities is awkward and will possibly make you sound unbecoming. At the same time, beware of those who do list- it might just be a faux pas or it might be evidence of a deeper issue.
Even when you have found what seems like the right person who just might meet your needs, the world may not be ready for you. Though there is much more acceptance and commonality of dating outside one’s race, there are still those who will give dirty looks or make disparaging comments to you or your date. This doesn’t mean it won’t be worth it, however! Prepare yourself and enjoy the process for what it is.